The Road Ahead.

This coming week I will be seeing my Oncologist at which time I am hoping to see the results of my latest C/T scan, which I had a couple weeks ago. I already know it's there and what areas are affected. The concerns I have are, a) As this node on my left jaw/chin has doubled, then what is going on in my chest and abdomen where I can't see? There are days where I feel like something is going on in either in my chest at times or even my abdomen at times. Could very well just be the mind playing games too.

The other concern I have is, what treatment option to do if it's time to start treatment. I did run into my radiation oncologist the day I was going for my scan. I showed him the node on my jaw/chin, which he looked and and felt. He stated that should nothing more concerning be going on with my C/T results, then we could hit this node with some radiation.

All things to think about and eventually have to consider and deal with. As I mentioned before, my chemotherapy options are very limited. The was some talk with my medical oncologist about having "a little room" for some more CHOP. I would really have to think very carefully about that one. I know down the road it can cause some heart related issues, amongst other things. There is GDP again as well which we talked about, issues there with making the peripheral neuropathy worse than it is now. ICE, if I recall was an option as well. All of the choice have harmful toxicities that I will be facing.

So the mind starts to spin with all of the "possibilities" of what is actually going on with the NLPH. How much has it grown in size? If it is growing quicker than expected, why? Was the diagnosis correct? This coming week should answer most of if not all of these questions.

Which ever way this goes, it has to be dealt with. Until later this week when I see my Dr. I will have to try to keep the mind from wandering too many places. Easier said than done as most of you well know. I will get through this as always, and move forward as needed. This time I will be putting more thought into the whole process, and there will be more discussion. With the limited options I will have to think all this through carefully before jumping on any one thing if needed.

This could all be for nothing, but I'm pretty certain it's not. Especially with the node developments going on. I have some thought about maybe discussing another surgical biopsy of this enlarged node, just to be certain we are not dealing with two different cancers at the same time again. If this is growing more quickly than expected then maybe it's something different than whats going on with the mediastinal nodes?

All food for thought, so you got an idea of what I've got ahead of me the next few days. Some days I wonder where the strength comes from to deal with all of it, but I always dig in and find it.With Brenda, and all of you out there that are behind me and encourage me as you do, it helps make it a bit easier. Funny how we all support and encourage each other and feel like we've know each other for ever. Most of us have never even met, or talked on the phone! It's a wonderful feeling how we've all come together, even though it's this horrible disease of cancer that has brought us together. So I leave you with love and hugs no matter where you are in your journey.
Tim, xxx