Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Another year older, and another year wiser

Well, here it is December 8th once again (yeah I know it's only the 7th) and I will be turning 52 this year. My how the years pass, I can remember only four years ago, being diagnosed with a cancer that gave me two and a half to five year survival odds if you were to listen to the numbers, and saying I just wanted to make it to my 50th birthday. Which I did, I was in the hospital in London at the time undergoing a bone marrow/stem cell transplant, but it made it! Now what? .Thus the wiser part, they are only numbers and if you listen to them and let them dictate you, you will end up proving them right! DON'T LISTEN TO THE NUMBERS! I did however set the bar a little higher and am shooting for fifty five now! I set the bar higher again when I get there but for now will take it a day at a time as it comes.

Yes, I am a year older and really do feel the age creeping up on me, and having gone through all I've been through that is a "normal" feeling. I had someone put it to me this way once. As a cancer patient you can add about twenty years to the way you feel. So let's see then, that makes me 52 going on 82! Yeah, that seems just about right some days. I could sit here and spend hours writing and whining about how I feel but what would that accomplish other than wasted time. I do allow myself days here and there to complain and whine about how I feel, but I don't let it take over every day, hour and minute of my life.

Most of you who really know me, have most likely seen a transformation with me and how I interact and deal with things and people now. Having cancer and doing the battle changes you in ways that are just to hard to describe to people. Those of you in the fight and even some of the caregivers in the fight "get it". Live is too short people and it can be taken from you in an instant. When you "get it" you make life a priority, the little things make a difference, being kind to others makes a difference, and it makes you feel good too when you help another human being. Your outlook becomes different, the material things are not important, nice to have, but not important. Being comfortable, eliminating all your stresses, giving back in some form or another, those are the things that will get you through the battle.

Brenda just asked me today, "what do you want for your birthday", I thought for a second the told her, I really don't NEED anything. What do I WANT? Well, my answer was let's go to a show this afternoon. We have to take in an early one because we have Brenda's weight loss surgery group Christmas party tonight in place of the regular monthly meeting. The only real thing I would like, but don't necessarily need....., a birthday cake! who doesn't like cake.

So to sum it all up for today, go out and make a difference to/for someone, don't matter who it is, even better if it's a perfect stranger. Pay it forward is the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. Does it work? absolutely it does I've recently had some good deeds come back to me for things I've done for other people many years ago. So you may not see the return of your deed for years or for that matter, ever! Does it matter? Nope, not at all, just feels good doing it, and if it comes back to you that is fine too, but not important.

Well that's enough babbling from me, probably not even making sense with the way it came out but if you make a difference in someones life today then I've accomplished something.

Wishing everyone a great day no matter where you are in your journey's, and thoughts, prayers, and good vibes, to our friend Cathy Fisher Morris who is now on the better side of the bone marrow/stem cell transplant she is currently undergoing.

Tim, xxx

Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Latest Ramblings and Such.

This is just an update of the latest that's been going on. Since my six month check-up with Dr. Kanjeekal I have gotten a call from the Diagnostic Imaging Dept. at Windsor Regional Hospital for my C/T scan appointment date and times. I have made it through the "scanxiety" days before the scan, and now await the results, could be a week or so. I do not anticipate any surprises, but with these things one can never tell.

So now I go through all the "normal" worries and thoughts while I wait for the results, Karla, Dr. Kanjeekal's nurse told me to call in a week after the scan if I have not heard anything by then. I would think that if my phone does not ring in the next week with a call from them, that would mean I am in the clear.



Well, we've made the decision this year to dig out and assemble all the Christmas decorations and tree. We have not had anything up other than the small ceramic tree since I got ill in 2006

My lovely wife Brenda and I posing for our annual Christmas Card photo in Santa's Castle
 Now that things are finally in a "holding" pattern and there are no treatments or signs of the dreaded disease, the mood is there to celebrate and enjoy the season. I've done up all the Christmas cards and they've been sent out, so if you usually receive one from us it's on the way!

Also, would you keep my good friend Cathy Fisher Morris in your thoughts and prayers, she is currently undergoing her Stem cell transplant in St. Louis. She's just over a week in and looking for her white blood cell count to start rising again.