Hope and Faith

Tomorrow can be a great day for us or the bottom could fall out. I am fighting and struggling with myself to remain optimistic. Not easy. 

   
Tomorrow begins early in the lawyers office where Brenda has a mediation hearing with regard to the head-on collision she was in almost four years ago now. NOT her fault. I also truly believe that our current status of being vehicle less is the very fault of that accident. Our vehicle has had major electrical problems since, they were reported to our agent but discounted when it came to doing something about it. So this is stress number one for the day.  

Tomorrow afternoon I will be meeting with my medical oncologist to find out my fate. Again something I am trying to remain optimistic about, but in reality know where this is most likely going to go. I've been through this scenario with this oncologist last year at this time. The conversation centered around three treatment options, 1-ABVD, 2- GDP, 3- BEACOPP.

It was pretty much this exact time last year that I was diagnosed with NLPH and went over these options, however it was decided that being a stage 1 situation at that time radiation would give me the best odds for a curative effect. Of those chemo options numbers 1 & 3 were immediately taken off the table as they contained Adriamycin (Doxorubicin) of which I've had my lifetime dose already. That left GDP which at best I was told then would only keep it at bay. 

I have been doing research on what is new out there, my dilemma however is my treatment will be restricted to what is on Cancer Care Ontario's Drug Formulary list. A list I feel is in serious need of a complete overhaul. Click this for CCO's drug formulary for Hodgkin Lymphoma options. Something that was not included in the Ontario budget put forward today. Now mind you I have to refrain a bit from jumping all over something I don't have all the facts on, I am still reading the Ontario Cancer Plan 2011-2015 Click here. So until I finish that read I will refrain from completely trashing the system. 

So you can see my anxiety when I have two of the big three conglomerates that rule the world somewhat deciding our fate tomorrow the Insurance industry and the Pharmaceutical industry. Ativan has been good to me these past few days! Even so it has been an hour by hour struggle these past couple days to keep my composure.

Tomorrow will come and go for most people out there as just another day. For us, it is going to be one of the most important days of our lives, will it be memorable for the right reasons? Fate will decide that, thus hope and faith from our end is the best we can do to bring this coming day to a memorable close for the right reasons. 

Stay tuned for the follow up. Most likely just a face book mention until we dust ourselves off and I can get to writing a proper blog entry on here.