Five Month Check-up.

Today will be one of my regular check-ups with my Radiation Oncologist Dr. Schneider at the Windsor Regional Cancer Program. It's been 5 months since my last check-up and I'm feeling confident.

Me, Dr.Schneider and Brenda at Relay for Life 2010

Although the check-up visit today is for the Squamous Cell Carcinoma which was found in my throat just a couple of month prior to the DLBC being found, Dr. Schneider will give me the full look over. He treated me for that cancer which was my first, and then he also treated me for my fourth cancer which was the first diagnosis of the NLPH.

Although these follow-ups may seem at times to have become routine there is nothing routine about them. Let's face it your there to follow up on a cancer that could return at any time, although I don't worry too much about the SCC, I do worry about the current progression of the NLPH that I am dealing with now, which is my fifth cancer!

The Lymphnode  on my jawline.

Even knowing that I do have a current diagnosis and that I can judge by the node on my jawline, I still always ponder the question; when will it be time to pull the trigger and start treatment? Being in a state of watch & wait, knowing what your dealing with and what lies ahead for you, can be very stressful at times.

My treatment options for when the time comes are currently few, and there are a couple that my Medical Oncologist and I have discussed and have ready to go when the time is right. But that is it, when is the time right? She has told me the the ball is in my court and I can make the call to pull the trigger to start treatment at any time.

Watch & wait is difficult. You know you have a life threatening illness, you know it's progressing day by day, even though it may be indolent, and you have the power to start treatment at any time, but don't. I don't because I have discussed the situation with my oncologist in full. We have gone over the options, I have gotten a second opinion to be sure where we stand.

The situation is this with the Watch & Wait approach, we are waiting for things to progress a little further, to a point where I start to exhibit one or more of the "B" symptoms. That is when I am told it would be the best time to start treatment, as the outcome would be no different doing now than it would be doing it once the B symptoms start to appear.

So this is why I watch and wait, and also because I had just finished a period of time where I was pretty much in active treatment for four years, and totally wore out from it all. So rather than start treatment again so soon and run all those toxic drugs through my body again, which is only going to weaken me more and who knows how much more, a little? a lot? or even may just too much.

I'll continue to take my chances with the watch & wait approach, keep up with these regular check-ups, the next one of which, will be with Dr. Kanjeekal my Medical Oncologist, who I will see sometime in September. So between the two oncologists I see, I actually get a follow up approximately three months. I can also call in if I think there is something that pops up and I think is urgent or requires attention sooner.

So as you see even though these follow-ups can have the appearance and feel sometimes of being "routine", there is nothing routine about them. After all it's me and my life in their hands and mine. Nothing routine about wanting to live another day, week, month, year, or even years.